How Julie Irina arrived...

It's hard to believe that Julie is already 15 days old... These days have flown by, and I am happy (and very grateful) to say that I haven't really had the sleepless nights and hazy days that are so typical of the first days and weeks with a newborn. Now, I know that things can still change, and I do mentally prepare myself for that in case Julie decides to flip her nights and days or become colicky. In the meantime, I relish my time with her, sad at how quickly she outgrew the newborn size diapers and clothes. Ok, before I get all sentimental, I need to write about the delivery experience that so many people have asked me about.

But, before I do that, I still want to run away with my emotions for a minute...

How did THIS...

turn into THIS??

"For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are Your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand - when I awake, I am still with You." (Psalm 139:12-18)

Speaking of awaking, I should probably hurry to finish this post before Julie wakes up from her nap.

Ok, here we go. As far as the pregnancy goes, it was perfect. I felt great, in fact I didn't even have any 'morning' sickness, or 'anytime' sickness as I had with the other girls, granted, it wasn't even that bad, but still, I definitely felt 'off.' With Julie, I remembered the stories I heard about women going to the hospital thinking they had appendicitis or some other belly ache - just to deliver a baby - without previously knowing that they were pregnant! I remember feeling indignant - how could one possibly not know?? Well, with Julie I easily could've been one of those women. Even later in pregnancy, I would think, "Wow, I've got some major indigestion!" and then it would hit me almost as a surprise - "Oh, that's the baby moving around!" Yes, I definitely realize it was a huge blessing as I continued working full-time until the end of my 8th month, while still taking care of the home, and trying to be a good wife and mother in the short hours I had with my family in the mornings, evenings and weekends. So, being really sick or exhausted would've made things harder not just for me.

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Then came the "BAM!!" moment. Three weeks before the due date, all the thoughts I had been having throughout the pregnancy came to a head when realized that I desperately wanted a home birth. I didn't want another hospital experience - the mandatory IV, lack of food or drink, basically being at the mercy of those who treat pregnancy, labor and delivery as some dangerous disease that only professionals can deal with. Now, I do believe that in many cases women DO need to be in the hospital, often times first-time moms, as no one can predict what complications might arise, and of course, those who have had previous problems. However, having had great deliveries with Emily and Natalie, though they were induced, and since this pregnancy was problem-free, I felt like my body already knew what to do. So, I called a friend from church who had used a midwife in her last two home births, called the midwife to discuss, and then I had to have a chat with Dmitri. Hmmm... As you can imagine, initially he was apprehensive, but after further discussion, he felt more comfortable with it.

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So, two weeks before the due date, I faxed a letter to my doctors, expressing my thanks for their excellent care and explaining why I was making the switch so late in the pregnancy. I guess it was my "I have a dream" letter, wishing that hospitals would see women with healthy pregnancies labor naturally, without a cascade of medical interventions, being able to drink water and eat healthy snacks to keep up their energy for this marathon, labor and deliver in whatever position that feels comfortable to them - all in the safety of a hospital with the 'just-in-case' equipment standing by.

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The next day, at 38 weeks and 2 days, I had my first prenatal appointment with the midwife. She again visited me 5 days later, and then a week later, the day before Julie's due date. All the birthing supplies were ready in a bin in our bedroom. The midwife also took a few minutes to organize all her supplies so that she could easily grab them when needed. We listened to the heartbeat, talked, and I told her that I wasn't feeling any different than the week before, and that I would probably stay pregnant for another week. I actually wished that. Call me crazy but I love being pregnant and I wasn't ready to be induced with Emily and Natalie either. And here was this fun anticipation of actually letting the baby decide when to come!

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The midwife left after we agreed to stay in touch through the weekend and her coming back to see me the following week. That evening I finally went through some baby clothes and put them in a make-shift 'dresser':

In fact, we still didn't even have a nursery! I told Dmitri that I felt like I was a bird with twigs in its beak, frantically flapping its wings, having nowhere to land! I needed to nest and didn't have a place! Speaking of nests, Natalie was nesting too:

She made a big nest in my bed and finally passed out from all the work!

Ok, where was I? Oh, that evening. I was content to finally go through some adorable baby clothes, fold some and toss some in the laundry basket. Then Dmitri got a craving for a 7Up and I - for Sprite and Snickers, so he went out to the store for those and ice cream. When he returned, he reported that the roads were very slippery and he could barely brake. Then we indulged in our 570-calorie snacks, followed by me taking a bath with a book for an hour. Then the clock hand moved and my due date came, February 3rd.

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I had all these ideas about how my labor would go. I thought it would start late some morning, after a good night's sleep. We would eat a hearty breakfast, and while contractions are still light, we would play a few games on Wii. Then my friends would pick up the girls, and as contractions get more intense, we would go upstairs. Dmitri and I would slow-dance in our bedroom, listen to great music, sing at the top of our lungs... Then I would get in the tub and relax there until the baby's birth. Maybe even in the tub!

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Weeeellll... That's not exactly how it went down. We went to bed at 12:30am, fully relaxed and exhausted. I then woke up for a second around 1:30am, feeling a little painful pinch. I immediately went back to sleep. Seconds later, I woke up with a start, having felt a squirt of water. I ran to the bathroom but no more water came out. I thought it was supposed to keep trickling, but there was nothing. Still, I was pretty sure that it had something to do with the baby. :)

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I went up to Dmitri who was blissfully sleeping, and woke him up with the words that you don't want to hear an airline captain or a pregnant woman utter, "There is no reason for alarm, but..." I told him that my water broke. He immediately jumped up with, "What do we need to do now??" I called the midwife who had just finished doing her visits up in the Northern KY area and was 20 minutes away from her house. South of Lexington. That's an hour away. While we were on the phone, I had my first contraction. We were still talking when I had another one. I checked the clock - they were only two minutes apart. The midwife said that she was on her way and that she would call her assistant who lives 30 minutes away. When I got off the phone, I couldn't stop shaking, still drowsy from sleep. Each next contraction was more intense than the one before. I tried to be light-hearted as Dmitri was running around, taping the plastic sheet on our bed, covering it with another set of sheets, turning on the computer to pull up the instructions the midwife had sent previously in case he has to deliver our baby. In the meantime, I was practicing my 'silly walks' (for the Monty Python fans out there), lifting my legs high as I walked around the bedroom. Dmitri started reading the instructions which included having me lay down on my side to slow down labor. He read that as I was contentedly squatting by the bed, which made him urgently say, "Um, that's NOT going to slow down labor!!" He helped me lay down. I asked him to turn on some music and I enjoyed hearing my favorite Michael W. Smith's "Worship" CD. I prayed and tried to sing along. He briefly ran away to turn up the water heater for the tub. He asked me if I wanted to get in the tub, but the midwife and I had an agreement that I would not go in the tub unless she is here because things can go fast in the water. So, I stayed in bed. Dmitri continued with the instructions, telling me not to push. He wanted to run off to look at the computer screen for further instructions (he was on point #3), but I wouldn't let go of his hand. Oh, he couldn't print out the instructions because the printer happened to be out of ink. Of course...

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Anyway, there he was, hovering over me, telling me not to push, and I finally told him, "Well, I need to." At that moment, the midwife's assistant got to our house and ran up to our bedroom. Thankfully all the supplies were perfectly arranged that she didn't have to waste any time getting ready. She was at my side just as I started to push. In less than 10 minutes, Julie was born, at 2:26am. Total time from my first contraction - about 45 minutes! She cried immediately and then relaxed on my belly. My first words after her arrival - "That was amazingly easy!" - the assistant looked pretty stunned to hear that. I guess she doesn't usually hear that from many women immediately after delivering. Now, don't get me wrong, I wasn't laughing through those 45 minutes, things got pretty intense, but I did expect labor to take much longer and to get much more painful. I just couldn't imagine everything being over so quickly!

Here we are sharing our first kiss after meeting Julie

Dmitri woke up the girls within minutes of Julie's birth. She was still covered in 'goop' when her sisters loved on her.

The midwife (who did arrive within 15 minutes of Julie's birth) showed the placenta and the sac to the girls. They loved it (in a gross kind of way). I thought, what a neat science lesson for them! They would've never seen that anywhere else. Hey, I had never seen it as they usually whisk it away at the hospital. Sorry if you just lost your lunch.

The cord was cut 2 1/2 hours after Julie's birth. The whiter the cord got, the pinker Julie's skin became. When Dmitri finally cut the cord, there wasn't a drop of blood in it. Did you know that about 10% of the baby's blood is in the cord at birth? Julie got all of it!

Then came the weighing and measuring. She weighed 7 lbs 5 oz.

She wouldn't extend her little leggies, so the 19 1/2" isn't exactly accurate... I'm sure there was another inch on her!

And here are the amazing ladies that shared this incredible experience with us.

At 5:30am, Dmitri made scrambled eggs with ham and rolled them into breakfast burritos. The four of us feasted, while still sitting on our bed. At 6:30, the ladies left and Dmitri and I went back to bed. We held hands, with this little treasure breathing softly between us. It felt surreal. But so incredible! Julie fit right into our life. I was so glad not to have the hospital-to-home transition that was always hard with the other girls. Our life just continued as before, except much richer with this sweet little girl now a part of it.

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Oh, another thought - we are so glad that we chose to do a home birth, even though it was so late into the pregnancy. Dmitri and I reflected on that night and we are convinced that had we planned on a regular hospital birth, our Julie would've been born in the car. In the ditch. Considering how fast my labor was, how icy the roads were, that the hospital was in Cincinnati, and that our other girls were sleeping... So, we give God all the glory for the way everything turned out - a healthy baby, a healthy mommy (not a single tear), all in the comfort and warmth of our home. I can only wish that every woman has a similar experience, except it would only be possible at home, if it's that fast. :)

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I'm ready for another one.

Julie with her adoring big sisters, Emily and Natalie

O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens. From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise." Psalm 8:1-2

Week 1 of a New Career

On Friday, December 31, 2010, I prepared to walk out of the office where I had spent a little over 6 years. I paused in the doorway, looked around the whole office area, memories flooding in of my first interview, all the people who have come and gone, funny situations and tears that were shed - by me or people coming in needing encouragement. I prayed first thanking God for giving me the opportunity, no, a privilege, to serve Him in this place alongside some incredible people. Then I prayed for the staff that I was leaving behind (though I was the only one there at that moment). I know that this is God's church and that He will continue leading it and helping its people. Then I flipped the lights and shut the door - shutting the door on a huge part of my life. I cried all the way home - and how coincidental it was that Daughtry's "I'm coming home" was playing on the radio - "... be careful what you wish for, you just might get it all..." I knew that I was coming home, to a place that I belong, and that my Father's and my family's love is enough for me there.

Actually, my first good cry about the impending change happened a couple of weeks earlier, on the 17th - it was Natalie's last day at the daycare, Childtime Learning Center. I hadn't realized that I would have such a hard time with it. Before Natalie and I headed out, I had fully intended to stop and say goodbye to everyone one more time (I had kind of said my goodbyes in the morning when dropping her off and snapped a couple of pictures:)

That's Miss Cindy, Natalie's teacher in 2010.

Natalie's Pre-K Class

Right before leaving Childtime, I snapped one last photo of Natalie by their Snowman craft:

Again, I was planning on saying bye to a few people, but instead I practically ran out the door with Natalie, and then totally lost it in the car. Why was I crying? Well, first, that place had become almost like family to us over the past 4 1/2 years, since Emily was barely 3. There are a couple of people still working there who knew Natalie since her first day there. But, the other reason was that it was the first tangible change since we originally made our decision about me staying home back in October. Since then, things continued on as usual - I would drop Natalie off and head off to work. So, that afternoon it hit me that it was essentially the beginning of the end of my life as I had known it. I'm very thankful for Childtime and for all the wonderful staff there. They gave us so much grace, considering we always had schedule issues with Dmitri being a pilot.

On Monday, January 3, Dmitri brought the girls back from Wisconsin where they had been for 2 whole weeks! I was very grateful for my in-laws who loved on and entertained my girls along with their cousins, and I had a much-needed break to catch up on things at home and to rest in anticipation of all the upcoming changes.

Before my first week at home as a stay-at-home mom, I had planned that I would spend the first couple of days sketching out some structure to my days - like, put Emily on the bus, then have my quiet time, then do educational stuff with Natalie, get laundry going, etc... Well, that lasted one day, and at that, I was a zombie. So, what actually ended up happening was me going back to bed after sending Emily off, sleeping till about 9:30 or 10, then doing some housework, making lunch, feeding Dmitri and Natalie, putting her down for a nap and... going down for a nap myself! Now, the beautiful thing was that by 7-8 in the evening, whereas I would've normally been exhausted, I was full of energy! Even though I was somewhat frustrated that my structured plans did not materialize in the first week, I can say that I have profoundly enjoyed a much slower pace in my life than what I had been accustomed to for so many years.

As far as activities, Natalie wasn't bored. Here's what she did:

Painting her favorite mushroom - "Fly Amanita" - it's popular in Russian fairy tale books' illustrations.

She helped me sort clean laundry into two piles - Emily's & her clothes.

I was excited to use our new KitchenAid mixer to make some yummy bread. Natalie helped roll out the dough and then roll it up into loaves.

Ah, the smell of fresh dough!

Brushing with some eggwash.

And here are the gorgeous (and delicious) results, just in time for lunch!

The biggest excitement of the week happened on Wednesday - we finally got the girls their Christmas present - a pair of guinea pigs. Natalie named the boy Sam (he's all white), and Emily named the girl Sprinkles. The pet store salesman speculated that Sprinkles is pregnant. Time will tell. If that's the case, now we've got two pregnant women in the house. Dmitri hopes we don't go into labor on the same day.

The girls have been practically inseparable from their new pets. Emily is becoming a pro at picking them up and holding them, and even instructing her friends on 'holding the pigs for beginners.' She needs to publish a book or do a YouTube instructional video.

Oh, and the girls helped me whip up a batch of Pelmeni for our dinner with friends on Saturday. And no, the piggie did not participate and was no where near the table during the cooking. Emily is just showing it off for the photo.

Natalie is neatly arranging her contributions on the board.

In all, this was a great week, and having Dmitri home the entire time made it even better. However, whenever he's out of town, I'm planning on catching up on a million things that have been put on a back burner for weeks, months or even years. And, hopefully starting tomorrow, there will be a bit more structure to our day. But, I will not get too structured to enjoy being close to those I love the most - they are the reason for this whole change. Keep praying for me to figure out how I can best serve my family and to glorify God in the process.

Week 2 begins tomorrow! Good night!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Click below to read our Christmas 2010 letter!

https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&pid=explorer&chrome=true&srcid=0B4P6hVB7AigFN2JiMmQ3ODctOGQ5OC00NDhkLTgwZGYtZGJjZmM0NGQzNTgz&hl=en

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours,

Marina, Dmitri and the girls

Snow Fun

Emily had a Winter Carnival at school on Friday, Dec.3rd. For the third year in a row, I made my ladybug cakes for the cake walk.

Natalie enjoyed sitting on Santa's lap

I was amazed how big Emily looked sitting on Santa's lap...

Instead of having their faces painted, the girls preferred pretty jewel stickers.

After the carnival, the girls went to a sleep-over at Emily's classmate's house. Maggie's mom, Amy, is one amazing woman... having a bunch of little girls going crazy at her house until 1:30am. In the meantime, honey and I hung out by ourselves at home, watching a movie, eating cake, relaxing. He left the next morning on a trip, while snow was accumulating.

The girls were thrilled to be outside - and they dragged me out too!

Ok, so everyone who knows me well, knows that I don't like winter, cold or snow. But, that day I guess the girls' enthusiasm was contagious, and I found myself enjoying the white stuff and how beautiful everything looked. Now, is this a breakthrough? or will this get old and will I start despising it again?

Emily loved running down the yard, slipping and falling 'in style.'

Things got even more fun when the girls went and got their buddy, Emma.

Then it was time to come inside to warm up with some hot chocolate. This is a view from our dining room window - Christmas lights reflecting on the snow-covered branches outside.

Some leftover doughnuts, hot chocolate with marshmallows... and three hyper and silly friends

Emma and Emily goofed around sucking up marshmallows with their straws. Oh, Emily's wearing the star on her forehead - it's the jewel sticker from the carnival the night before.

After Emma left, we all went down for a very long nap. Then we made pizzas from scratch and played a Christmas stocking Memory game that I printed off the web that afternoon. I felt incredibly thankful for this sweet time with my girls and for the beautiful creation outside.

Going Nuts!

Last Sunday Dmitri was craving his favorite cookies - Russian nut cookies that actually don't contain any nuts and are safe for our nut-free Small Group. :) We all had had a really long nap, went out to Fazoli's as a treat, got home past 9pm and my honey got the dough going! The girls were thrilled and at first I was a little apprehensive - it was way past their bedtime and Emily had school the next morning! However, I quickly changed my mind - afterall, who cares about a late bedtime if they can make memories together with daddy who is gone so much AND make cookies that this pregnant woman loves??

"Play-Dough"

The girls had fun shaping the dough into little balls.

Here's the chef himself, checking out their work and making corrections.

And here's the amazing griddle. It's quite heavy and my mother lugged it all the way from Russia a couple of years ago. Apparently, those griddles were mass-produced many years ago and never again since. My mom and my sister had been actively searching for one for several years, and whaddaya know - on the same weekend they both got responses to an ad they had placed in the paper - living in two different cities! So, my mom traveled across the ocean with it and TSA was quite baffled by this... um... bizarre weapon.

Here are the baked nut halves.

The next step is filling them. Dmitri had boiled cans of condensed milk until it turned to gooey caramel.

Here is the final product!

And here's the final product on its way to my mouth! Yum!!!

So, lasting memories were made and the nuts... well, they are in our memory too now that they are all gone!